Things Sure Have Changed
All this talk about kids getting trouble for throwing crayons and Mass. outlawing spanking got me thinking about my childhood. Not that I got spanked a lot or anything. I did get spanked, I didn’t like it, I didn’t do whatever got me spanked again. It’s not that hard of a concept and imagine this, it worked. If something was taken from me in an attempt to ground me from a toy I knew I’d be getting it back so I’d occupy myself with something else. A spanking is instant, it hurts, and you can’t give it back or take it back.
Honestly when I was in 5th grade I started to get grounded from things like the phone, my friends, and electronic possessions. It killed me. I thought if I didn’t have my nightly talk with my BFF Yukiko that we’d both go insane. I remember sneaking to call her at my grandma’s house while grounded. As I got older it only got worse. I had to keep up with the latest who did what and who was doing who and OMG someone pulled a girl’s shirt off during lunch while they were fighting? To ground me might as well have killed me.
I started to think about my deranged 5th grade teacher. She was s short, chubby woman, who wore those mu-mu’s. She didn’t hold up her hand or turn off the lights or just say Be Quiet when she wanted us to settle down. She grabbed a stuffed animal of Clifford, The Big Red Dog. We were just supposed to realize this is what she wanted. She would hold him and pout as if she were upset or disappointed in us. I hated that wench.
She also wore white socks that didn’t quite come up to her knees with those mu-mu’s and they were men’s dress socks btw. So crazy teacher spent the whole year not washing her hair and hugging Clifford. When some of the kids were talking amongst themselves going I think she wants us to shut up so we can walk down to the lunch room, Hey that’s why she holds Clifford! She gave us dirty looks like we were morons. Honestly, I think at a 5th grade level we just thought she was having a break down.
At Christmas time during our yearly pageant we rehearsed almost every day. She would line our chairs up in front of the chalk board and make us stand from tallest to shortest so she could get the order right in her head. We sang that song about Santa being on the rooftop and Click Click Click or whatever. In the song you go so and so wants a dolly and one wants a blah blah.
Kids were supposed to bring in a doll for the performance, and whatever other toys there were. Instead of having them in class she gave someone a plant and someone a phone. I could tell you the two boys names, but hey I’m all about anonymity. She ended up throwing the phone at the floor or something like that. It didn’t make much of an impression on me because I was used to her acting this way.
Then, one boy said I want to hold the plant, can I hold it during the performance? Please? Please? Of course another kid did the same thing. They were supposed to hold the object up when the song got to Jim Bob wants a Ball or whatever it says. She got pissed off because two kids asked. She threw the plant at the second one’s head as if it were just the end of her world because he had the audacity to make her make a decision between two kids.
He ducked. He turned out to be a soccer player. Good thing, because she threw it so hard that it busted on the chalk board and plant was everywhere. She made us sit down. We were all very still as she called the janitor to come clean it up. She was reported to the principal and the janitor backed it up as well as several kids. The outcome? She just wasn’t right.
The last I heard she was still teaching. She’s probably 70 something at this point. I saw her out shopping one day, she’s moved onto sweat pants.
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